Jay tales a peek at Jon's new book

If I glance over my left shoulder as I type, I can sneak a peek at the photograph for February on my calendar. It is of Carrie Fisher, lounging back on a couch, dressed in the slave-girl outfit she wore in Star Wars.

January was of Jodie Foster, also looking directly into the camera.

They are the initial instalment of a collection known as Jon's Luscious Ladies, which my wife put together as a bonus Christmas present. And in a remarkable act of restraint, I have not flipped forward to see what the rest of the year holds.

I trust my wife's judgement in knowing what I like.

 

My latest upload to Kindle is about passion in its various guises. ONE EYE CLOSED – D-DAY is the first part of a trilogy of novellas which looks at those two extremes of emotion humanity is capable of: war and sex. As a species we spend an inordinate amount of time involved in both, though there is probably more emphasis on the latter. Much more. If I'm anything to go by, that is. ..

 

My comic gods as a teenager were The Pythons. And it seems weird to consider now how they were seen as stepping over the boundaries of good taste. Apart from objections over various sketches on TV, and one film which portrayed the life of someone mistaken as The Messiah, there was a page in their Brand New Monty Python Bok which raised a few eyebrows.

Graham Chapman stands naked, one hand barely covering his genitals, with head demurely looking down to one side. It is entitled: Masturbation, The Difficult One. Some People Find It Difficult To Talk About. Others Find It Difficult To Do. While some of us laugh, there are adults who get upset! How dare these people impose this on impressionable readers!

Poor souls, they had yet to see what is available to similarly-aged teenagers on the internet.

Not that I've ever investigated such opportunities which are only awaiting a finger-stroke, you understand. You know, nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say-no-more-squire – those sites catering to adults which nobody ever admits to looking at. Just as intimated by the Python gag about self-abuse …

 

Frivolity aside, I await the studies of how this is affecting society with interest. Someone must be investigating what is happening? What is expected of young women? Is it to be the case that the best chance of some kind of youthful immortality for them is not advances in gene alteration, but as a holographic image uploaded onto a future calendar to be admired by a middle-aged writer? Don't do stupid - it's just not clever.