As a toy Colobus monkey come to life, Jay Diamond is not technically a British National. Since, however, it was the place of his 'birth', he considers it acceptable for him to have – if only by a process of osmosis – instantly absorbed the brand of humour that invades the soul of its peoples.
And theirs is a devilish wit.
An impartial observer might expect that a competition where the contestants are removed by a process of elimination would mean the best would be saved to last. Such a person does not know The British. And would consequently fail any citizenship test regarding their sense of humour when allowed the chance to take part in the voting.
There is currently a Hairy Biker involved in Strictly Come Dancing. Jay is of the opinion that the man has about as much panache on the dance-floor as a dalek with legs learning to skate. And yet he is continually voted to stay on the show by the public. Why? Because this is how The British like to entertain themselves.
It's not about giving the plucky under-dog another chance.
It's not about seeing untapped potential
It's about pissing off experts and seeing them suffer.
Jay Diamond is proud to have been born in Britain.
Try not to do the stupid things stupid people do.